Hahahahahahahahahaha!

– Doctor, tengo un problema de memoria. Se me olvida todo.
– ¿Desde cuándo tiene usted ese problema?
– ¿Qué problema?


- Doctor, I've got a problem with my memory. I forget everything!
- When did you start having this problem?
- What problem?

Be Prepared, and very very scared! (Part 1)

Because I am now qualified to amputate limbs in the bush with a swiss army knife and some human hair for a tourniquet. I will be practising at random times throughout the next few weeks. You have been warned.

I got back last night from a crazy 2000 kilometre driving epic Sydney-Melbourne-Bairnsdale(Tanglestown)-Sydney. If I never see another slow-moving campervan it will be too soon.

Those in the know/with peeps in the region, will know that Victoria has been engulfed in flames for the past two weeks. And my gosh doesn't it show. The bushfire smoke started almost as soon as I crossed the Mexican border and didn't end till I hit the City Link in Mexico City.

I was in Melbourne for an intensive course at RMIT about planning international development projects and every time I emerged from the vomitous green entry to the uni Melbourne was covered in a haze of smoke. It was like being back in the capital cities of Central American countries, only without the dead stuff in the gutters and the Central Americans, obviously.

Anyway, Cookie bar has an awesome rooftop cinema if you're in the area - we had a mate on the door who got us seats.

See part 2...

Be Prepared, and very very scared! Part 2

After the RMIT course it was off to Bairnsdale. They have erected a sign saying 'Hometown of the Tangles' but my camera wasn't working so I couldn't get a piccie. Bairnsdale was the home of my Wilderness First Aid Course, which I need if I'm to be a Group Leader in Costa Rica in 2008. I spent the next four days learning how to realign fractured and dislocated limbs with traction-in-line splints. Most of the time was spent dressing fake blood wounds and splinting/slinging/CPRing various victims of the bush. I passed the written and practical components and when we walked out of the bush at the end of it, I had grown some nice 4-day growth.

On the way back, we stopped in Merimbula, at a hotel recommended by a friend from the first aid course. We got a cheap deal, and from the looks of the front of the hotel, I thought it was warranted:

But check out this view from the balcony! What an awesomely deceptive hotel.

Anyways, back in Sydney after a hairy drive through fog in Wollongong, living the bureaucrat life and looking forward to Christmas. Season's greetings to one and all.

Bond James Bond James Bond James Bond

I think I have discovered the secret to a perpetual motion mechanism. Set your email up to reply with an 'out of office' response and then send an email to yourself. Remember to turn the 'one-off response only' option off.

I-Rock, is there some kind of application for this in the making-me-lots-of-money industry?

Well it made me smile anyway.

I have been blue arsing flying around today getting organised for a week in Mexico, sorry Victoria. Three days at RMIT then 4 days in the rugged Gippsland region finding out how to tie people's limbs back on with a paperclip and some tree sap. All going to plan I should have my Wilderness First Aid certificate next time we meet.

Saw the new Bond movie on Saturday. It's different to the old Bond movies. Apparently this is bad. I think the more bad/badder thing is that it is so clearly a ripoff of The Bourne Identity/Supremacy.

If you've not seen it, I'll try to be subtle - or skip to the end. But consider the following:

Bourne: Graphic but heavily choreographed hand-to-hand combat predominates, filmed with handheld camera at close range.
Bond: Check

Bourne: Protagonist given first trial mission which proves testing.
Bond: Check.

Bourne: Important female character buys the farm unexpectedly, protagonist becomes heartless bastard.
Bond: Check.

Bourne: Protagonist has overseers/bosses who criticise him and have little faith in his abilities.
Bond: Check.

Bourne: Starts with a 'B'
Bond: Starts with a 'B'.


Case closed, your honour. I think the last point is particularly compelling.

I watched the movie from the 'La Premiere' section of the movies and for those who've never done it - Nike Slogan!

All you can eat popcorn and drinks, special private lobby, massive seating away from the plebs - it's great!


Anyway, thought the mariney/diver types among you might be interested to know that I found a sea turtle carcass down at Jervis Bay the other weekend - it was HUGE - like 6 foot long! Is this normal for those parts?


I think Bond may have been involved.

Currarong Cavorting

After a quick visit to my local otologist to determine my brain was still tumour-free, I headed down to Currarong on the NSW south coast for a weekend of dodgy card game playing, fishing and lazing about with my uncle ian and cousin callum. We stayed in their family cabin with this view:

which was just across the road from:


then we walked up to:


and looked out over:

Also, managed to catch 7 different types of fish in two hours, find a sea turtle carcass that had washed up, rescue a carpet shark, and feed rosella. Noice.

Canadian Megs is in town for two nights only, we're having a Costa Rica crew get together tonight before Maddy heads off to Mexico, Megs heads back to Canada, and Emja heads off to Spain.

Special bday shout outs to the silenced Dokta Cok. Keeping it real in Nueva York. Keep eating those puny pumpkins my friend.

I just got a spam message with the subject: faece duodecima. The mind boggles.